Booger Runs

Despite the fact that I live in the Midwest, and have lived here my entire life...I hate cold weather. I know, "hate" is a very strong word...one that I tell my children not to use...but despise, dislike and abhor simply do not have enough force to portray my real feelings about the cold.

Today, started out at a balmy 3 degrees in my hometown. I call it booger freezing weather, for the obvious reason. I always use the booger barometer to test the coldness factor. If, when I breathe through my nose, all the boogers instantly crystallize to my noes hairs, it is too cold for a really long run outside.

This leaves me with two choices...hit the treadmill, which I unaffectionatley named the hamster track, or suffer through a shorter run with icicles hanging from my nose! Today I chose the latter.

I prepare for my frozen booger runs by, dressing in layers (just like mom taught me). Despite the fact that am trying to streamline my apparel, I always end up looking like Ralphie from A Christmas Story -- long sleeve moisture wicking shirt with a hood, turtleneck fleece, running tights, wind pants, wind breaker, hood up, hat over hood, ear band, mittens and sun glasses.

As I hit the bitter cold, the wind stings against my exposed face (the only exposed skin on my body) -- instantly, I have the icy booger rush. My legs are stiff, but I keep pressing onward. Gradually, I get into a steady pace, my breathing normalizes and I start to enjoy the frozen world around me. Until, I turn the corner and head west!

The normal three mile course I run goes through my subdivision. It is one big loop, which means, at some point in my run, I will hit a head wind. In addition, I live in a neighborhood of relatively new construction on two acre lots -- wide open spaces for the wind to whip through. The winter wind, which normally comes from the Northwest, always hits me right in the middle of my run. I call this section of the course, my shoe run, so named because I spend most of the time looking down at my shoes to block the wind from hitting my face (and further freezing my boogers).

Despite the wind I press on, knowing that soon enough I will head east. I am always amazed by how good the run feels at this point in the course. With the wind at my back, I normally have to unzip my windbreaker! My nose is still iced up, but the rest of my body is actually HOT! I open up my stride and start my final 3/4 of a mile -- I'm in the homestretch!

When I get home, I find the frozen boogers have now turned into a dripping faucet. I run inside and grab a tissue before they make their way into my mouth -- ugh! My cool down stretch and requisite ab workout are frequently interrupted by additional tissue runs -- how can such a little nose have so much snot?

Just as I am starting to get a chill from the now clammy sweat that is covering my clothing, I end my workout with a long HOT shower. Despite the fact that, for the foreseeable future, I will remain living in a cold climate, I am glad I took my booger run...I emerge from the shower warmed up and ready to face the rest of my day!